3 Ways You And Your Spouse Can Ease The Pain Of Grieving For A Lost Child
The loss of a child is one of the most difficult forms of grief to overcome. Parents have hopes and dreams for their children which now will never be realized. This additional factor makes the loss of a child much more difficult to work through compared to the loss of a parent or even a spouse. The loss of a child can easily disrupt marriages, as both partners in the marriage will undergo the grief process at the same time. Conversations and feelings can often become tense.
Unfortunately, time is the most important factor in the grieving process. It's important not to rush through it. Grieving in a healthy way will help to minimize the emotional pain you experience and reduce the strain on your marriage. If you have recently suffered the loss of a child, here are three ways you and your spouse can work through the grieving process.
1. Don't Blame Yourself or Your Spouse
An all-too-common occurrence following the loss of a child is blame. You may find yourself blaming either yourself or your spouse for the loss of your child. This is a normal reaction, as it's natural to feel protective of your children. You may feel that either you or your spouse failed in that duty.
Unfortunately, blame and resentment won't help either of you make it through the grief process. While these feelings are common, it's important not to dwell on them or let it affect your marriage. You and your spouse need to be supportive of each other during the difficult process of grieving for a lost child, and feelings of blame, guilt and resentment will create a barrier between the two of you.
2. Give Your Spouse Some Alone Time to Grieve
People process grief differently, and it's important that you allow your spouse some time to process his or her grief alone. You shouldn't expect to work through grief at the same rate, and you shouldn't expect to share the same feelings. When two people try to work through their grief together, this mismatch in their feelings can lead to friction.
Your spouse may want to have grief time alone. For example, he or she may wish to visit your child's place or rest or places have a special significance to your child's life. To best help your spouse through the grieving process, give him or her some space during this time in order to work through the complicated emotions that grief brings with it.
3. Seek Grief Counseling Services
The loss of a child creates a difficult dynamic within a marriage—you and your spouse have to support each other while also processing grief individually. At some points, the strain of needing to both grieve and be supportive can easily become overwhelming. During these times, it's a good idea to receive professional grief counseling.
Grief counseling services allow you to receive professional help from a neutral third party. You'll be allowed to express your feelings freely and will be taught techniques that can help you process your grief. Most importantly, grief counselors are non-judgmental. Unfortunately, you may not receive the same treatment from your spouse during the shared grieving process.
Dealing with the loss of a child is an extremely difficult time. The most important thing to keep in mind is to avoid becoming stuck in resentment and to allow your spouse some time to process grief on his or her own terms. If you need help, seek the services of grief counseling in your area, as it can give you a listening ear to talk to about your loss along with the tools you need to process grief in a healthy manner.
For more information, contact companies like Brown Funeral Home.